So everyone has one thing in life that they are terrified of. For me, that fear is death.
When I say the word death it doesn’t just mean, death. To me it means much more. It means that someone in my life has not only passed away but it brings up all kinds of questions that I can never answer. That’s when the hamster wheel starts turning.
“I’ll never see them again, ill never hear their voice again, what if I forget them? What if it was me? What happens when you die? Do you just die? Are these people I love just dead? Like no longer there forever? Do you just rot? Where do you go? Heaven? Is there a heaven? Am I next? Would I rather know I’m going to die or not know? Did they know they were going to die? Do you just accept it? Will I ever see my kids again? Can I still see them when I’m dead? Can they see me? How will it end for me? Will I know? Am I ready? Should I research? What do I believe? Is there a God? How do we know? If there is a God then why does he let people die? “
As you can imagine all these thoughts tend to send me into a whirlwind. I have a panic attack almost every time someone dies or the conversation of death comes up. It takes me days to recover. I don’t often share this with anyone but since death has touched our family so much these last few years I am really going to try and work on this fear moving forward. I am going to do some research, going to make sure I have an after death plan, god forbid, I died tomorrow. Maybe these steps with help me face this fear. Can anyone else relate to this? Am I the only one who struggles with this issue? Let me know in the comments. Who knows, maybe some good advice will help me move forward too. Or help someone else as well.
Do you fear death??